Coupons Take me Away!

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Coupons Take Me Away?

Coupons Take Me Away

I had a “coupons take me away” kind of day! Some of you may be old enough to remember the old Calgon commercials. For you whippersnappers out there that are too young, basically the commercial showed a domestic mother who had had a horrendously stressful day slipping into the perfectly drawn bubble bath, begging Calgon to take her to a happy place. Well, it’s 2012 and I don’t even know if they make Calgon bubble bath any longer, but I do know about my stress reliever, coupons. My Friday started out like a Monday to say the least.

How My Day Got Started

Annie was out of town all week, which means that I have my full time job, the three boys, all five websites and Bentley the Golden Retriever under my watch. Any of of these things by itself is enough to keep me busy for a week! I knew that Annie was headed home and would be back by the early afternoon. We had plans to head out to the Tampa Bay Rays game Friday evening for a nice date night. I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel!

The morning started off OK. I woke up, no knowing I’d being saying coupons take me away, had my cup of coffee, checked my email, let Bentley outside and was ready to rock and roll. Ethan was stirring, so it was definitely time for him to get his bottle. I left Bentley in the back yard and went to retrieve the little man. Grayson was getting himself ready because he had to be at school at 8. Landon didn’t stay with me last night, but had Grayson’s homework for the week in his backpack. We had to make sure Grayson got to school in enough time to get to his brother’s class, grab his stuff and get to his own class. Not a problem, Grayson knows the drill.

Coupons Take Me Away….from Bentley!

It was Grayson’s job to make sure Bentley didn’t start rolling around in our fresh mulch again. I don’t know what it is, but when he rolls in the mulch, it sets off some sort of a reaction with his fur that ends up producing a ridiculously foul stench. So much so that when he got into it on Thursday night, I basically just gave up and let him jump in the pool and “bathe” so that he wouldn’t stink up the house. He loved every minute of that. However, when this happens in the evenings, his punishment is to spend the night in our master bathroom so that he can fully dry off. Annie will blow dry him, I don’t have the energy or the patience most nights. Make note of this. It comes into play shortly.

Calm Before the Storm

Coupons Take Me Away StormI changed Ethan, while his bottle was in the warmer. Then I came in and sat down in my leather arm chair. Ethan loves to sit with me there and that is where I feed him on the mornings that it is my turn to get up with him. He was hungry and making good time on his bottle. He usually takes a break when he is about 2/3 done and this was the case on Friday. I let him come up for air and glanced at the clock. It was 7:42. We had to leave the house in 8 minutes and were right on schedule. Grayson had already gotten Bentley back inside and was in the process of feeding him. As I slid the nipple of the bottle back into Ethan’s mouth, I thought, this hasn’t been too bad of a week. With the exception of Bentley’s mulch escapade on Thursday night, this week has been pretty low key. Boy did I jinx myself. No sooner had the thought completed in my head and complete mayhem broke loose.

Coupons Take Me Away NOW

The neighbor next door does not follow the leash law and lets her dog run all over the neighborhood, so of course it came into our front yard and Bentley, the killer Golden, went nuts. This startled Ethan who sat straight up and appeared to choke from gasping when Bentley started his tirade. Ethan coughed so hard that he projectile vomited his entire bottle all over me (as if it were a scene from The Exorcist) all over him, all over the chair and all over the floor. The time is now 7:45. I stop everything to make sure Ethan’s airways are clear and he isn’t choking any longer. Next, I go to the hall bathroom and start the bathwater. There is no way Ethan is getting cleaned up with baby wipes after this one! I place Ethan in the tub and tell Grayson to hold him upright until I can get myself hosed off.

I rush across the house removing another article of puke laden clothing with each step. By the time I reach the master bedroom, my mission was accomplished. I am literally running due to the time. I hit the tile on the bathroom floor and end up sliding across the entire bathroom. I try to catch myself and end up spraining my wrist. When I hit, I land flat on my back with my feet/ankles jamming into the wall to break my momentum. Remember, Bentley dried off in there last night. When I picked up the towels that were on the floor first thing in the morning, they left a nice amount of moisture behind. Thus, my “incident.” I didn’t have time to survey the damage because I had to get cleaned off so that I could clean Ethan and get him dressed so that Grayson could get to school in time. Thanks a lot Bentley. Wait a minute! Where’s Bentley? Usually he is tripping me because he is under my feet. Now I can’t find him. No time.

End of Part I

I jump in the shower, clean myself off, throw on gym shorts, a T-shirt and flip flops and head out of my bedroom only to find Bentley pulling his weight and licking up Ethan’s vomit from the chair and floor. Nothing like the site of a Golden Retriever on his hind legs licking up puke from the seat of your armchair. Honestly, I should have stuck him back in the bathroom or something, but I just let him go and figured it would be less for me to have to clean up later.

I finally make it back to the hall bath. There’s Ethan, looking up at me with the biggest smile in the world. I can’t be mad at him. It’s that flippin’ dog that did this. I wash Ethan off, get him dressed and we head to the car. It’s 7:55. If we catch every single light perfectly and there isn’t a line at the school, we may just pull this one off. We missed the first light and Grayson is starting to get upset. I told him not to worry about it that Daddy would fix it with his teacher and that didn’t seem to matter. Miraculously, we pulled into the school as they are shutting the gate. Grayson slips in, gives me the thumbs up, turns his back and heads to class. Part one is done.

Hectic Day Part II

I proceed to leave the school so that I can get Ethan to childcare and I can begin the rest of my day. We spend a little time in school traffic, but it is otherwise a pretty uneventful trip to drop Ethan off. I get Ethan dropped off and am finally ready to head to the home office and start banging this stuff out. I walk in the house and am finally at a point where I can survey the damage. Now that the adrenaline is gone, my ankles hurt, my wrist hurts, the house looks like a bomb went off and Bentley is peacefully napping by the front door. The sink is loaded with dishes that can’t go into the dishwasher because it is already loaded to the gills. I start to gather the laundry so that I can get it cleaned up before Annie gets home and end up running out of clothes baskets and hampers so I decide to just use the kitchen floor. I ended up sorting it into 9 loads of laundry that needed to be done before 2pm when my loving bride was slated to be home. I ran the numbers and it was mathematically impossible, so I triage the laundry into a hierarchy of importance and came to the realization that I could have all of it done with the exception of the towels and I could do those once she got back. My next issue was the dishes. I won’t bore you with the gory details other than to let you know that they got done.

Rays Ball Game Photo

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Annie got home, the baby sitter arrived to take care of Ethan and we headed to the game. The game was exciting. The Rays were pounding the ball and Oakland looked like they had left their starting squad back in California. It seemed like things were well in the world for the moment. Sean Rodriguez was up and with one crack of the bat he sent a line drive home run over the left center field fence. I jumped up to cheer for him like everyone else in the area. One problem. I forgot that when Annie left to go to the restroom, she placed my phone on my left thigh so that I had it in case the baby sitter tried to contact us. You ever wonder what happens to an iPhone when it jumps about 6 feet in the air and lands on pavement? Nothing good is the correct answer. My phone screen shattered. I had already been down that road and knew I would be getting a new phone in the morning because it’s cheaper than having the screen fixed. That is how my day ended. Crazy huh?

Coupons Take Me Away & the Tie-In

How am I going to tie this all back into couponing? Very simple. Each one of us has an escape. We have something that we do when life hands us a day like I had. For some it’s fishing, for others it’s arts and crafts, but for me it’s coupons take me away. I knew that when I woke up this morning, I was going to go to buy a new phone and then I was going to let loose. I planned out my trips and got everything ready to produce some excellent hauls from Publix. I am half way through the day and am already at ease. I have to head back out to the store in a little while to score a few more things for our Cinco de Mayo dinner I will be preparing, but I know those trips will go well too.

Happy Mothers DayFolks, I know this is a long post. ¬†However, I needed to capture every little part and nuance of my day to let you know that there are men out there that appreciate the roles that domestic parents play. Whether you are a stay at home mom or a stay at home dad, you have a tough job. You have a job that doesn’t give you a big pat on the back. You are rewarded by the little things like little Ethan covered in vomit looking up at you from the bath tub with a huge smile on his face. We don’t do this job for the pay. We do this job because we love it. We love our children and will do anything to see them be cared for and to succeed. With Mother’s Day rapidly approaching, I think I would be remiss if I didn’t ask you to just take a moment to think about all that both of your parents have done for you. Do you think your parents had days like mine? Absolutely. They may have had days that were worse. The one thing I knew I could count on was that they were going to be up and at it again the next day to raise our family right. Thanks Mom and Dad and thanks to all the parents out there that are forming the hearts and minds of the next generation. Anybody can have kids. It takes special people to be Mommy and Daddy.



  1. Gale Kelly says

    So sorry about your day. I truly enjoyed reading your post and I can relate to days such as yours as I was a stay-at-home mom..although it seems like it was just yesterday…..Treasure each day with your children, as they grow up way too fast. You are so correct when you say “anybody can be a parent but it takes special people to be mommy and daddy.” And in most cases, those special people have very special children. I know I do! I am very lucky and proud to call my daughter and son my kids. (They are adults now). And yes, I do remember, Calgon… take me awaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!:)

  2. Betsy Smith says

    I don’t feel so bad about my addiction to couponing. I never have enough time to do all I want. Just when I think I am getting ahead of the coupons, more seem to come. and to read all the deals is work also. Love it but the rest of life goes on and has to be tended to also.

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