Military Blues: Paranoia

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Paranoia – Today’s Military Blues
military blues paranoia

Military Blues: Paranoid

I am currently suffering from a mild case of paranoia. So, this is the topic of this weeks installment of Military Blues. I cannot be the only one going through this, right? Maybe it is because of this past blue moon? You know the moon does do some pretty crazy stuff to people! Then again, maybe I am!

Sometimes, I just feel like the world is staring at me. You know like when you ate broccoli salad for lunch and then smile? That feeling of panic, “Oh, crud! Did I check my teeth?” Is my outfit OK? Did I put deodorant on this morning? Do I stink? I am beginning to feel that the only place I am truly comfortable is in my own home. Maybe this is due to my getting off of my mental stability medication. Yes, I was on Prozac once weekly to help control my anxiety. I am switching out my medications as I feel the one I was on was not working. One thing is for sure though, I have never been so paranoid.

My Military Blues Case File

Case file number 113 (detective voice). A friend had posted on her Facebook page about how if anyone thinks she should move to the town where I live. That they could go jump off a cliff. (That is a nice way of putting what was really said.) Mental note 1, there was no name of said “anyone.” When reading the comments in the thread, I noticed the word “she” used over and over again. Mental note 2, we have had conversations in the past about her moving to the town I reside in. Mental note 3, a comment stated that “she” had no real solution as far as commute expenses, aside from purchasing a new vehicle. Note to self, I had told her that buying another vehicle was an option. Come on! This is totally about me, right?

After a brief period of constant dwelling and a phone call confiding in another friend, I was very confident this was all about me and wondered what I had done to provoke such an attack. Turns out, I did nothing. Because, when I had talked to the friend that had posted it later that day, and confronted her about the situation, it was not about me. It was a carry over conversation from another mutual friend’s page that I did not see until after it was said to me.

Jump to Conclusions Much?

In this instance, I was wrong to jump to conclusions. It just gets me thinking though. In the life of a military spouse, there is a natural worry and many of us are hyper aware of our surroundings. When do we know when our worry and paranoia goes over the boundary of “normalcy?” Or are we destined for an overload of stress, anxiety and even paranoia filling the facets of our lives? Stay tuned to the next installment of Military Blues. Hopefully I won’t over-react if you don’t comment on this post 😉


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